ashbernie311
June 20th, 2007, 10:21 PM
Warning; super long. You can leave now if you'd like. Just want to post :/
So, today was an incredibly awful day. I usually don't rant about anything to anyone...but hey "Vent it out"...sort of invites me, hm. If you really don't want to hear about it, it's okay- you can click back and it's all good.
Anyways, I usually don't share my personal life with anyone that I'm not super close with (but it's coming out in the magazine anyways, so I don't really care anymore; it's my story I guess).
Well, a lot of people are unaware that my only brother and my father once tried to clear my bank account back when I lived with them. It was devastating, people you trust can turn in a heartbeat. And even though they did this to me, the entire family of mine never stuck up for me. I moved back with my mom (and bought the home)- and so even though the rest of my family (and we were really close) doesn't talk to me, I guess I've become numb to it. It really hurt me at first, but you know- You really see who the true person in people are when money is in the game. My family would hit me up for money constantly, and I would give it (all the time; whatever they needed...we're family, right?)- There is a point to the story, or maybe not, I don't know yet...
Anyways, since my brother tried to clear my account, a 'conservator' was placed in my estate name- meaning I no longer have full access to my funds because of exploitation (which makes sense, but I couldn't appoint my mom because my dad would have fought it and it just would have obviously made more sense to appoint someone we didn't know?)- Bad idea (wasn't ours...the judge did it)- And I have these *****y *** people handling my money which I cannot trust, and today one of the associates basically threatened to close all of my funds down. (A lot of people don't know this, but since they've been in place, I have absolutely no spending money what so ever. Think about it...would you work constantly for free?) I have built my business from day one, alone. So the day was ruined and we spent six hours *****ing with my lawyer and them. It was such a headache. We're going for emancipation this/next month, so I feel a little better about it.
I received their billing statement (mind you, they're supposed to be protecting my assets)- And it is for $xx,xxx since MARCH! I would have NEVER spent that kind of money on personal items since March!? And they're protecting me?! </rant 1>
So anyways, about four in the afternoon...things settle a bit, my headache isn't as intense- barely got to be creative all day. Such a bummer.
I get online and my younger cousin IM's me. He asks me, "did you go to the funeral?"...I was completely confused. Long story short (and a lot of upsetting tears and what not later)- I was told that my great grandmother passed away on Saturday, and my 'family' had told him not to 'tell me' because I was no longer 'part of the family'. They also didn't tell my mother (obviously) and my other uncle...
It has really made me realize how cruel and cold people can be. People I grew up with and loved...really. I no longer have trust for most everyone. I cannot believe my family would do that. I was the type of kid who stayed at all of my aunts/uncle's houses, and practically lived with my grandma.
I guess in a way I'm relieved because I finally know my great grandma is in a better place- and them avoiding me has finally pushed me to write a staggering five page letter to each member of my family about my true feelings of betrayal.
I know I'm ranting about a lot of personal things, but hey, it's true. And I needed to. What also sparked me to vent tonight, was a little IM I have gotten from "GREENSPEED21" a few minutes ago. He had asked for a link exchange, and I had told him (as I have told others)- that right now I just didn't have an open link exchange (polite...and fair). I also talked to him before about developing a custom slide (he wanted $5000)...and I was still looking; and wasn't very comfortable at the time with doing the project. Moving on, he kept asking for an 'invisible' link on my page...again, I said it just wasn't fair. I wasn't being rude or saying flat out 'no, go away' or anything like that. He kept saying how he was short on cash, and how his recent surgery was $4000...I am generally a really kind person, but this was begging to me! He kept asking, and then eventually said:
Him: omg alright ill remember that
Him: : seriously if someone was in need of cash i would of helped them out
Him: : hope you feel guilty :'(
Me: I hope you understand it's business, not personal...
Him: : sometimes you need to give to get.
Him: : karma .
Me: I surely believe in it, but begging doesn't get anyone far.
Now, I have helped a ton of people out in the past, and I always do when I can...it's just not always fair and you can't always get what you want. You want to talk about karma? You should really realize that begging isn't too good for the soul either.
Anyways, bad day gone worse, and worse.
Regardless, I really do try and help people out when I can. I am usually really busy and I do have a social life, so it's about maintaining balance, and I apologize if I cannot always get back right away about something- It's been really hard the past year, and we all have our ups and downs. Urrrg. I was just so upset by his comments, because I do as much as I can for others, while I'm trying to grow my own business, and keep my life going too...
</rant>.
If you read all of this, I will honestly one day do the berries and cream dance for you.
:sigh:
Sorry to be such a sad sap >:O
So, today was an incredibly awful day. I usually don't rant about anything to anyone...but hey "Vent it out"...sort of invites me, hm. If you really don't want to hear about it, it's okay- you can click back and it's all good.
Anyways, I usually don't share my personal life with anyone that I'm not super close with (but it's coming out in the magazine anyways, so I don't really care anymore; it's my story I guess).
Well, a lot of people are unaware that my only brother and my father once tried to clear my bank account back when I lived with them. It was devastating, people you trust can turn in a heartbeat. And even though they did this to me, the entire family of mine never stuck up for me. I moved back with my mom (and bought the home)- and so even though the rest of my family (and we were really close) doesn't talk to me, I guess I've become numb to it. It really hurt me at first, but you know- You really see who the true person in people are when money is in the game. My family would hit me up for money constantly, and I would give it (all the time; whatever they needed...we're family, right?)- There is a point to the story, or maybe not, I don't know yet...
Anyways, since my brother tried to clear my account, a 'conservator' was placed in my estate name- meaning I no longer have full access to my funds because of exploitation (which makes sense, but I couldn't appoint my mom because my dad would have fought it and it just would have obviously made more sense to appoint someone we didn't know?)- Bad idea (wasn't ours...the judge did it)- And I have these *****y *** people handling my money which I cannot trust, and today one of the associates basically threatened to close all of my funds down. (A lot of people don't know this, but since they've been in place, I have absolutely no spending money what so ever. Think about it...would you work constantly for free?) I have built my business from day one, alone. So the day was ruined and we spent six hours *****ing with my lawyer and them. It was such a headache. We're going for emancipation this/next month, so I feel a little better about it.
I received their billing statement (mind you, they're supposed to be protecting my assets)- And it is for $xx,xxx since MARCH! I would have NEVER spent that kind of money on personal items since March!? And they're protecting me?! </rant 1>
So anyways, about four in the afternoon...things settle a bit, my headache isn't as intense- barely got to be creative all day. Such a bummer.
I get online and my younger cousin IM's me. He asks me, "did you go to the funeral?"...I was completely confused. Long story short (and a lot of upsetting tears and what not later)- I was told that my great grandmother passed away on Saturday, and my 'family' had told him not to 'tell me' because I was no longer 'part of the family'. They also didn't tell my mother (obviously) and my other uncle...
It has really made me realize how cruel and cold people can be. People I grew up with and loved...really. I no longer have trust for most everyone. I cannot believe my family would do that. I was the type of kid who stayed at all of my aunts/uncle's houses, and practically lived with my grandma.
I guess in a way I'm relieved because I finally know my great grandma is in a better place- and them avoiding me has finally pushed me to write a staggering five page letter to each member of my family about my true feelings of betrayal.
I know I'm ranting about a lot of personal things, but hey, it's true. And I needed to. What also sparked me to vent tonight, was a little IM I have gotten from "GREENSPEED21" a few minutes ago. He had asked for a link exchange, and I had told him (as I have told others)- that right now I just didn't have an open link exchange (polite...and fair). I also talked to him before about developing a custom slide (he wanted $5000)...and I was still looking; and wasn't very comfortable at the time with doing the project. Moving on, he kept asking for an 'invisible' link on my page...again, I said it just wasn't fair. I wasn't being rude or saying flat out 'no, go away' or anything like that. He kept saying how he was short on cash, and how his recent surgery was $4000...I am generally a really kind person, but this was begging to me! He kept asking, and then eventually said:
Him: omg alright ill remember that
Him: : seriously if someone was in need of cash i would of helped them out
Him: : hope you feel guilty :'(
Me: I hope you understand it's business, not personal...
Him: : sometimes you need to give to get.
Him: : karma .
Me: I surely believe in it, but begging doesn't get anyone far.
Now, I have helped a ton of people out in the past, and I always do when I can...it's just not always fair and you can't always get what you want. You want to talk about karma? You should really realize that begging isn't too good for the soul either.
Anyways, bad day gone worse, and worse.
Regardless, I really do try and help people out when I can. I am usually really busy and I do have a social life, so it's about maintaining balance, and I apologize if I cannot always get back right away about something- It's been really hard the past year, and we all have our ups and downs. Urrrg. I was just so upset by his comments, because I do as much as I can for others, while I'm trying to grow my own business, and keep my life going too...
</rant>.
If you read all of this, I will honestly one day do the berries and cream dance for you.
:sigh:
Sorry to be such a sad sap >:O