Domestic abuse

[JCs]

As many as one in three women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. That's one in three too many.

Without going into my own personal problems this really Pi@@es me off.

What the hell do Men (and some women) get out of kicking @hit out of someone they supposedly love ?

"I'm sorry it'll never happen again, i love you so much"

FAMOUS LAST WORDS.

Anyone who has ever been in this position will know EXACTLY what i mean.

One of the BIG problems is people tend to think of Domestic violence/abuse as a taboo subject but for anyone suffering it can really help to talk to people they don't know and will never meet :)

Anyone in the UK who needs help can go here http://www.womensaid.org.uk/?gclid=CLf4_5OCkIwCFQYvlAodVSnO3w

[Marty]

I'd never hit a woman, it's so wrong... My aunty used to get beatup by her boyfriend almost everyday of the week years ago and nearly drowned and ****, my cousins used to have to watch their mother going through that - it's so wrong. Doesn't happen anymore though, we've all grown up and we'd beat their *** hehe.

[Panic!]

I'd never hit a man and if a man touched me I would probably get him beat.

[JCs]

I went through my childhood watching my mother go through beatings and hospital visits and it isn't nice.

A lot of the time being upstairs and listening to it was worse as your imagination works overtime.

[JCs]

we've all grown up and we'd beat their *** hehe.

Luckily my kids have no idea.

It's surprising how kids will believe something even if it seems unlikely LOL

I'm glad your cousins are no longer seeing that.

[mawt]

I'd never hit a women- full stop.
Luckly for me I've never been in the position of seeing this sort of violence either.

[JCs]

Most women who are getting beaten up by their men - guess what - their men ar DRUNK when they beat em and then when they become sober the "OMG I'M SO SORRY, I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN"

Unfortunately that's not always the case.

Mine doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs which as far as i'm concerened is even worse.

I'm glad young people are concerned about these things as well though :)

[YabbaDoo]

This is one thing I intend to solve.
I have been asked to join my youth goverment board on June the 1st.
I will be working SPECIFICALLY on my biggest area of concern - PHYSICAL VIOLENCE IN ALL SHAPES AND FORMS!
My town has gone downhill with unprovoked attacks on people for no "apparent reason" people beating people up because their skin colour or sexuality.
My biggest concern is "THE IMPACT OF KNIVES ON THE INNOCENT"
This countrys biggest problem is knife-carrying gangs. I know that most actual unprovoked stabbings are done by men under the influence of drugs or ALCOHOL. Alcohol is the BIGGEST problem for violence. Most women who are getting beaten up by their men - guess what - their men are DRUNK when they beat em and then when they become sober the "OMG I'M SO SORRY, I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN" BULL**** begins...

I believe I have come up with a solution to help this problem in 6 steps - I can't go into detail but here's a few ideas we have come up with:

- 1)UNPROVOKED ATTACKS ON THE PUBLIC IN AREAS SERVING ALCOHOL - I will be looking to find a solution that will involve people being required to pass through metal detectors to detect the presence of knives on the person in public areas known for alcohol related public violence and unprovoked attacks. More police and security on the streets to be on scene at a violent outburst IMMEDIATLY
Talking CCTV Cameras....
- 2) Limit the presense of alcohol in unsecure areas - Make alcohol almost impossible to get hold of in areas that are known for this...Therefore in order to get drunk they will need to be in an "alcohol zone" where they are being monitored on CCTV and security are on the scene aswell as the metal detector system making it IMPOSSIBLE to get weapons through into these areas making knife crime in these areas - ZERO.

- I am looking to find ways to "keep an eye" on people who are known for becoming violent when drunk and making it harder and harder for them to get hold of the LIQUID that makes them become violent and abusive towards people and behind closed doors....
I am looking for ways to set up support groups completely different from AA for people who have a problem with alcohol related violence a SHOCK TACTICS style camp that will highlight what they become like towards the innocent when under the influence. People just want to stick everyone in prison nowadays, that's their answer to everything (SHUV EM IN THE SLAMMER) It's like OMG, do you IDIOTS not realise this person has a PROBLEM that needs HELP not a prison cell, when they are released there's SOD ALL in the way of after-support so they just go straight back and re-offend.

Domestic abuse is a serious problem, but it is not the only problem...As far as I am concerned the answer is simple - We need to identify WHAT causes people to become violent in general (we already know ALCOHOL has a HUGE part to play in this and that is why my ideas above all regard making alcohol harder and harder to get hold of etc) We know domestic abuse is very often kept quiet and NOBODY knows what is going on behind those closed doors therefore I have come up with a community involvement idea to get people to leave the house and come and mingle with the nieghbours and community in street partys, commuity built carnivals and such - Making it easier to identify the "recluses"...
Truth is I GENUINELY believe, kids carry knives because they are scared THEMSELVES, I also think that giving kids more community involved things to do will reduce childhood obesity, make people more supportive of each other and make neighbours more supportive of each other - Increasing the likeliness of them noticing "something isn't right at number 4" and also help make kids more "together" reducing school bullying using a "strength in numbers" tactic.

The reason for all bad in the world is because the person inflicting the bad is insecure and has problems of their own - We need to indetify the common problems and come up with solutions that make people feel SAFER. By people I mean EVERYONE. I mean making people who cause problems more and more active in the community and giving them somewhere where THEY can feel safe and they don't NEED to carry a weapon or hit people to make themselves feel safer and bigger.

[JCs]

We know domestic abuse is very often kept quiet and NOBODY knows what is going on behind those closed doors therefore I have come up with a community involvement idea to get people to leave the house and come and mingle with the nieghbours and community in street partys, commuity built carnivals and such -

Good luck with that ROFL

That is the type of answer i excpect to come from someone who has absolutely no idea about domestic abuse.

My OH takes me with him to communtiy activities and appears to other people as the nicest guy around who would do anything for anybody.

Take it from me if the abuser doesn't want people to know then they won't know. It's as simple as that.

[YabbaDoo]

Good luck with that ROFL

That is the type of answer i excpect to come from someone who has absolutely no idea about domestic abuse.

My OH takes me with him to communtiy activities and appears to other people as the nicest guy around who would do anything for anybody.

Take it from me if the abuser doesn't want people to know then they won't know. It's as simple as that.

Actually, I do know.
My dad is one of the most severe abuse cases in my towns history. Abused by his dad.
I am not the prime minister and I know I don't have answers, I just come up with ideas and put them to the people who make them happen. I think that safety is an issue though, I do believe that by making people feel more secure THEMSELVES they are less likely to abuse. I also know men who abuse their gfs/wives are cowards. The sort of people who wouldn't hit a man but would hit a woman.
You need to understand that domestic abuse is the hardest problem to solve in violence problems. How the hell can it be resolved? We would have to stick CCTV cameras in EVERYONES HOUSE =/
The only way people can know someone is being abused behind a closed door is if someone TELLS THEM. I just think the community idea HELPS. It certainly wont help a lot of cases but it will raise more "awareness" of what people are like and trust me, there is ALWAYS someone who knows what is going on, I would bet money at least one of your neighbours knows what is going on in your home.
The only way to resolve it other than getting OTHERS to indentify it is if the abused TELLS SOMEONE. And I'm sorry but you don't sound like you seem to be doing much on that front. Like most women who are being abused by their other halfs they say the problem needs to be resolved yet they remain in an abusive relationship and let it continue happening. And TBH, NOONE can help you with that. You need to contact the police, the goverment and tell all your friends, family and neighbours what is going on. We aren't mind readers, you know?
It's not the nicest answer sorry LOL, but are you telling me you are currently being abused by your OH? Right now?
I am now concerned for your welfare, but the answer is one word and one answer. TELL. It is your responsibility to get yourself away from the idiot now. You love him? He loves you? Common answers. Talk to someone, get help, raise awareness of what the man is really like. TRUST ME, IT WORKS!
There's nothing men hate more than A WOMAN BEATER. You tell a few of my dads mates what this guy is doing to you and they'll be down your house in a shot and kick his head in (to be honest LOL!) My dad's dad was a TOP MAN in the BRITISH ARMY, and all the time he was protecting our countrys people when he stepped through his front door he would physically and sexually abuse his wife and children. Sick huh?
When my dad met my mum and my mum found out she went to HER DAD (who happens be the VERY TOP MAN in the british ARMY) and well had it "sorted" for him to get well lets just say his head "sorted" :)
My mum got the wife out got the bros and sis's (my aunties and uncles) out and now they all live happy lives and own successful businesses. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. The first step is to TELL SOMEONE, get OUT and don't go back...The rest will just FALL INTO PLACE..trust me!

[AbdulR]

alcohol isn't the only cause. I've known many cases where the husband not only wasn't drunk... but never really drinks to begin with.
Sure alcohol can fuel it in some cases but men who beat women under the influence are screwed up in their head and can just as easily do it while not drunk.

[YabbaDoo]

alcohol isn't the only cause. I've known many cases where the husband not only wasn't drunk... but never really drinks to begin with.
Sure alcohol can fuel it in some cases but men who beat women under the influence are screwed up in their head and can just as easily do it while not drunk.

Yep, I know.
I also realise that almost everything I wrote was alcohol related...But that doesn't mean I am blaming it for everything in life.
I know there's a LOT more to it...There's never just ONE problem....But if that is one of THE problems surely it has to be dealt with.....Once that has been dealt with you can find the next one and move onto that....

Does anyone here have any better ideas....I find it funny how everyone is always ripping people and the goverment for having these IDEAS (and that's all they are) yet I don't see any of you coming up with any answers!

Tell you what...Let's make an ideas thread..Where everyone on this forum becomes president/PM for the day and has to come up with ideas for some of America and Englands biggest problems...Let's start with street violence and domestic abuse....What would YOU DO?

[NYCBORN]

I never hit a woman but some women wow they sure do like to push all the buttons they can to get you to hit them. Men who hit women get no respect from me and if I see someone on the street hit a woman I'll usually step in or just take a cheap shot at the guy and knock him silly. Of course I'm not gonna stick around to fight the guy I just keep it moving LOL.

[urheart]

No, alcohol isn't always the case. Abuse is more than likely to be done by someone who was abused as a child, someone who was severly picked on, or both. Alcohol may cause the abuser to act even worse, but they're not always drunk when they abuse.

[Marty]

I got punched in the nose by a girl, i swear she should be a boxer!

POW!!!

[Meghann_78]

I'd also like to say that emotional abuse can be just as devasting as phyiscal abuse, it may not leave bruises but the scars still run very deep :(

[Sergio]

I find this extremely sad. It's so retarded and pointless. My mom had to give my aunt a ride to the hospital because her husband beat her yesterday.

[hotmonkee]

Emotional and physical abuse go hand in hand...well, not all emotionally abused people are physically abused, but they may end up abusing themselves.

It is HARD to say there's a solution, or lets come up with some ideas for a solution...etc. The abuser is "sick" and needs help. The abused needs to be convinced by themselves or by others that there are safe places to go.

I think support is the biggest thing someone can offer an abused person. Not just money, not just a place to stay, but so much more.

Julie is right.... "Famous Last Words"
Some people never get out and the end result becomes deadly.

[JCs]

I'd also like to say that emotional abuse can be just as devasting as phyiscal abuse, it may not leave bruises but the scars still run very deep :(

I can totally relate to that hun.
I was physically abused for 12 years the last 3 has been emotional and i tell you now i much prefered the physical.
Bruises can heal but the emotional leaves deep scars.


Thanks Yabba i am now taking steps to leaving and feel stronger now than i have done in the past 15 years. :)

[JCs]

I find this extremely sad. It's so retarded and pointless. My mom had to give my aunt a ride to the hospital because her husband beat her yesterday.

That is horrible,. I pray your aunt can eventually see what needs to be done. I know how hard it is so she has my deepest sympathy.

[JCs]

Emotional and physical abuse go hand in hand...well, not all emotionally abused people are physically abused, but they may end up abusing themselves.

It is HARD to say there's a solution, or lets come up with some ideas for a solution...etc. The abuser is "sick" and needs help. The abused needs to be convinced by themselves or by others that there are safe places to go.

I think support is the biggest thing someone can offer an abused person. Not just money, not just a place to stay, but so much more.

Julie is right.... "Famous Last Words"
Some people never get out and the end result becomes deadly.


Thanks hunny.

Sometimes the most important things people need are freinds who will listen without judging.

It's so easy for people who have never suffered to look down on those who are suffering.

The main questions i get are "why stay" "why not just go"

Ummm hello "FEAR" also it's psychological.

I know what he is capable of so i also know what he is capable of if he ever caught me leaving.

I am taking steps though as you know.

My plan is to escape as soon as i can.

My main problem is he is here 24-7 and never leaves me on my own with my kids.

[carlee]

Thanks hunny.

Sometimes the most important things people need are freinds who will listen without judging.

It's so easy for people who have never suffered to look down on those who are suffering.

The main questions i get are "why stay" "why not just go"

Ummm hello "FEAR" also it's psychological.

I know what he is capable of so i also know what he is capable of if he ever caught me leaving.

I am taking steps though as you know.

My plan is to escape as soon as i can.

My main problem is he is here 24-7 and never leaves me on my own with my kids.
People ask those questions cause they can't understand why someone would stay - they think that if they were in that position, they'd get out the second they get hurt. They've not been there, so can't understand it and you can't really blame them for that.

Doesn't he have a job?

[JCs]

People ask those questions cause they can't understand why someone would stay - they think that if they were in that position, they'd get out the second they get hurt. They've not been there, so can't understand it and you can't really blame them for that.

Doesn't he have a job?

I don't blame them at all Carlee and can understand why they ask those questions.

No he doesn't :( Although he is looking he is just very picky.

Hope this link helps those who don't understand to understand a little bettter :)

http://www.prevent-abuse-now.com/domviol.htm

[carlee]

I don't blame them at all Carlee and can understand why they ask those questions.

No he doesn't :( Although he is looking he is just very picky.

Hope this link helps those who don't understand to understand a little bettter :)

http://www.prevent-abuse-now.com/domviol.htm
I know you weren't but some people do. :(

Does he have any hobbies which might take him out of the house for a bit? Like err...golf? Darts? Other men-stuff? Cause you could do a quick packing and then leg it out of the house when he's doing his hobby thing?

[hayley]

My mum used to get hit etc, and I was the one that had to cover it up when she believed her new(old now) man still loved her, when i was 6 i had to pretend i kicked her when i was on the swing by accident, to the docter. Thank god shes back with my dad now.

[minnseoelite]

I have never and will never hit a woman its just wrong. And for all the guys out there that make up reasons why they do it like "i as drunk" "she went to far" blah blah blah...bs there is never any reason to do so

I have been punched, kicked, hit with a glass candle holder, and had my upper body slammed in a car door (on purpose) all buy women but i never turned around and hit any of them....there is simply no excuse for hitting a woman ever cause there is always other means of handling it like walking away....women are for loving not hitting if you wanna hit something go to the gym :)

[Mixi]

I respect you alot JCS for putting yourself out there and helping to spread the word so that people will be informed. That really show's your strength and I commend you for that. If you ever need somebody to talk to u'll have a friend in me.

[JCs]

Does he have any hobbies which might take him out of the house for a bit? Like err...golf? Darts? Other men-stuff? Cause you could do a quick packing and then leg it out of the house when he's doing his hobby thing?

I wish he did. When he goes out he always takes one of the kids with him.

The kids are on holiday soon so will all be home and we will go when he goes for a shower or a bath.

It means leaving with just the clothes on our backs but at least we will only need a 10 minute gap to get out. :)

[JCs]

My mum used to get hit etc, and I was the one that had to cover it up when she believed her new(old now) man still loved her, when i was 6 i had to pretend i kicked her when i was on the swing by accident, to the docter. Thank god shes back with my dad now.

Been there sweetie and it's no fun.

I've always had to say how clumsy i am.

You wouldn't believe how many times i have "fallen" over, down the stairs or just generally walked into things.

Makes my blood boil to have to cover for him all the time i'll be thankful when it's all over.

[JCs]

I have never and will never hit a woman its just wrong. And for all the guys out there that make up reasons why they do it like "i as drunk" "she went to far" blah blah blah...bs there is never any reason to do so

I have been punched, kicked, hit with a glass candle holder, and had my upper body slammed in a car door (on purpose) all buy women but i never turned around and hit any of them....there is simply no excuse for hitting a woman ever cause there is always other means of handling it like walking away....women are for loving not hitting if you wanna hit something go to the gym :)


Well said Jason :clap:

Women abuse men as well which is just a wrong.

Why everyone can;t just be nice is beyond me.

[JCs]

I respect you alot JCS for putting yourself out there and helping to spread the word so that people will be informed. That really show's your strength and I commend you for that. If you ever need somebody to talk to u'll have a friend in me.


Thank you Mixi.

It's taken me years to get to this point but i'm sick and tired of being locked up all the time and putting up with it.

I'm being very brave at the moment as i know i'll be a nervous wreck when the time comes ROFL

[hotmonkee]

:punchout: i hit back. i fought off my dad, my brother, and my boyfriend dared to lay his hands on me, now he tells girls not to mess with me. but he's still a jerk (i am too plotting my escape)

[minnseoelite]

Thank you Mixi.

It's taken me years to get to this point but i'm sick and tired of being locked up all the time and putting up with it.

I'm being very brave at the moment as i know i'll be a nervous wreck when the time comes ROFL


its good to be nervous it heightens your senses, if you get nervous and start second guessing yourself just keep in mind DO IT and in 5 minutes it will all be over and you will be free :)

[JCs]

its good to be nervous it heightens your senses, if you get nervous and start second guessing yourself just keep in mind DO IT and in 5 minutes it will all be over and you will be free :)

I WILL be going through with it.

Myself and my boys have missed out on so much happiness i want to make it up to them before i'm too old to enjoy it :)

[Meghann_78]

I'm so sorry to hear that you have been suffering for such a long time, you are right, you deserve all the happiness in the world, and if nerves start to hold you back, think of your boys, they also deserve so much more (((hugs)))

I was fortunate enough to leave the SOB I was engaged too after 5 years of emotional abuse and suicide threats "if you leave I'll kill myself" and all that BS - I have suffered numerous mental disorders and still take each day at a time, it's been 6 years since then and I still suffer with what that arse did - I take each day at a time and I am very fortunate to have a Husband that is patient with me :)

This thread brings tears to my eyes, I wish you all the best and stay strong xxx

[JCs]

Thank you Meghann.

I will be taking each day as it comes and hope things go to plan.


I'm so sorry to hear that you have been suffering for such a long time, you are right, you deserve all the happiness in the world, and if nerves start to hold you back, think of your boys, they also deserve so much more (((hugs)))

I was fortunate enough to leave the SOB I was engaged too after 5 years of emotional abuse and suicide threats "if you leave I'll kill myself" and all that BS - I have suffered numerous mental disorders and still take each day at a time, it's been 6 years since then and I still suffer with what that arse did - I take each day at a time and I am very fortunate to have a Husband that is patient with me :)

This thread brings tears to my eyes, I wish you all the best and stay strong xxx

[Dale]

Ive seen women get hit before. But luckily, never my mom. It's crazy. There are Boy vs. Girl fights at my school all the time. Ending in girls having broken noses, fingers, etc. I would NEVER hit a women UNLESS it was a life/death situation.

[minnseoelite]

I would NEVER hit a women UNLESS it was a life/death situation.


nope man sorry then you just take it and hope you don't die

* there is always an alternative to hitting a woman

[bosshogg01]

My mom's ex husband hit her in front of me one time, and i beat the **** out of him and kicked him out of the house and he never came back.

[hotmonkee]

due to my own circumstances related to this topic, my son and i almost died today. i wont be on because i need to leave to save our lives. i didnt want to post this publicy, but for those of you in the same situation, just know that you have friends on here to support you.

[minnseoelite]

due to my own circumstances related to this topic, my son and i almost died today. i wont be on because i need to leave to save our lives. i didnt want to post this publicy, but for those of you in the same situation, just know that you have friends on here to support you.

dang tina hope to see you back on here soon :)

[JCs]

due to my own circumstances related to this topic, my son and i almost died today. i wont be on because i need to leave to save our lives. i didnt want to post this publicy, but for those of you in the same situation, just know that you have friends on here to support you.


Sweetie i've already PM'd you but i also wanted to say here "GET THE HELL OUT"

Please hun. Just leave with your son. Nothing is more important than your safety and happiness. Next time it might not be "almost died".

Pm as soon as you can hun and let me know you're both ok.

*hugs*

[Meghann_78]

Originally Posted by hotmonkee
due to my own circumstances related to this topic, my son and i almost died today. i wont be on because i need to leave to save our lives. i didnt want to post this publicy, but for those of you in the same situation, just know that you have friends on here to support you.

If anyone hears from hotmonkee could you please let us know she is safe and well, my heart goes out to you and your little boy - be safe xxxxx

[Kasami2k4]

Hm. Yeah, and cops are especially bad with it. Did I reply here already? I was thinking of it a few days ago, but I can't remember.

Anyway, yeah, domestic abuse needs to stop. Anyone seen 'Enough'? =p Women are statistically smarter and more mentally developed at a younger age but we ARE the weaker sex. My boyfriend can pick me up and hold me above him in the air. I'm glad he's not violent x.x

[hotmonkee]

Hey everyone. I wanted to explain more. I had just a brief time to post earlier. I have never wanted to say anything publicy, and maybe this isn't the best forum to spread the word, however, I've just recently opened up about my situation. Julie was also brave to share her situation. Sometimes victims feel ashamed, or just don't want to bother people with their problems. I have a lot of online friends and I didnt want to just disappear, and as lame as this may sound, I wanted to leave a trail of evidence should something happen to me.

Basically, what happened was we were driving, my son started crying because he wanted to go to the park, and the jerk started driving eratically and threathened several times to "kill" us by wrecking. He almost hit several pedestrians, and we had so many "close calls" with hitting people that I almost had a heart attack. For the first time I was truly scared for my life. I can fight off a coward, but I can't control the car.

Yes, nothing happened, but that's the point. Don't let it go until something actually does happen. I'm ok for the time being. I am plotting my escape. I was hoping last night would be the night to go but "he" took my keys and my purse so I had no way of transportation.

I have notified several people and the authorities just in case something happens, and it's hard to say/write that, but it's a very true reality. I will be on and off here and there. I don't want my life drama to override my time on here. But maybe someone else in the same situation will know there's so many people on here that will be there for them for support.

So moving on. It's hard to post this, it does feel shameful because I feel like people don't want to hear about other's drama. However, it's more to spread awareness of what this can do and maybe help others understand how powerful something like this can be. Thanks for everyone's concern and to Julie for starting awareness.

[JCs]

Sweetie you have my prayers as you know.
I'm just glad your ok.

I don't have a purse let alone money and i'm not allowed keys nor has he ever let me learn to drive BUT when the time comes i will be long gone. We will leave with just the clothes we will be wearing on that day.
As long as i can get to a phonebox we are fine.
I'm lucky in that i have a sister who is going to put us up and has told me to reverse phone charges when the time comes and she will get someone to pick us up.

I guess what i'm trying to say hun is don't let money or anything else stop you.

Get out and get to a phonebox and call the police and they can take things from there. They will help you find somewhere safe as well for you and your son.

*hugs*

[minnseoelite]

@hotmonkee

Glad to hear your ok, and as jcs pointed out you do not need to leave with your keys or your purse just grab your son and run out the door to your nearest neighbor that you trust and ask them to take you to the police or just go straight to the police station yourself. Once you are there you can explain your situation to them and they can escort you back to your house if you wish, to collect your keys, purse, and some other personnel belongings and possibly even arrest the SOB.

You got alot of friends here at MSP myself included that just want to be sure you and your son are safe :) That goes for you as well jcs

[JCs]

Jason thank you. It's being in this fourm that is making me stronger because i can see how much fun life can be :)

Tina i don't know if it's the same in other countries but here if you go to the police you can ask them to find you a safe house and not have to explain anything if you don't want to.

[Jessica61981]

Tina-You know I am there for you! I tell you everyday if you lived closer you could stay with me :)

Julie-You are one strong woman I wish you best of luck. I know it ain't easy, but you will get through it.

To all the Ladies out there that have kids just remember to do it for them :)

[JCs]

Tina-You know I am there for you! I tell you everyday if you lived closer you could stay with me :)

Julie-You are one strong woman I wish you best of luck. I know it ain't easy, but you will get through it.

To all the Ladies out there that have kids just remember to do it for them :)

Thanks Jessica. The scariest part is being out on my own. I've been with him sinse i was 20 so have never really been alone.
I'm just glad we never married.

[hotmonkee]

Thanks Jessica. The scariest part is being out on my own. I've been with him sinse i was 20 so have never really been alone.
I'm just glad we never married.

i told you we have so much in common.

we're not married either. it is scary.

[JCs]

Makes it easier though not being married in the long run.

[candysplash]

I went through my childhood watching my mother go through beatings and hospital visits and it isn't nice.

A lot of the time being upstairs and listening to it was worse as your imagination works overtime.

Same here. (i'm crying at the moment).
Its good to know I'm not alone.

[JCs]

Same here. (i'm crying at the moment).
Its good to know I'm not alone.

I'm sorry to hear that hun.
It's surprising once the topic is open just how many people are affected :(

[candysplash]

Yeah. I find it really hard to tell people because no-one understands. Its like I'm trapped.

[bosshogg01]

Tina what state do you live in? I'll go with you to get your things and I promise he wont do anything while i am there!

[JCs]

Yeah. I find it really hard to tell people because no-one understands. Its like I'm trapped.

You'd be surprised at how many people do understand hun. Either due to having been through it or currently going through it.

I find talking about it helps.
Although i have NEVER told anyone the things that have been done to me or i've been made to do.I'm too ashamed of myself for letting someone do it to me to be able to discuss any of it.
One day i will have to in order to be able to heal but that's after i leave :)

[minnseoelite]

Tina what state do you live in? I'll go with you to get your things and I promise he wont do anything while i am there!

Very nice offer there bossgogg01....I bestow REP!

Similarly if anyone here is in the same situation and lives in or near Minn and needs help getting out shoot me a message and I will see what I can do to help

[JCs]

You guys have a heart of gold.

[hotmonkee]

yeah, everybody here is freakn awesome. full of love and support that's for sure.

[hotmonkee]

Tina what state do you live in? I'll go with you to get your things and I promise he wont do anything while i am there!

im at home now, i live in UT. he has stayed away from me since the incident. if he comes home before i can move out, i have my cousins house i can go to because she's out of town for a month. i'm trying to get in there now so i dont have to constantly worry about this.

but you guys are so supportive, i love it.

i have my resources in place here, so i'm go to go! thankfully my company is one of the leaders in helping in domestic abuse situations. i have called them today and made arrangements for protection. they are especially supportive with their employees since we just lost an employee last month due to domestic violence. her husband shot her in the parking lot at work. :(

[JCs]

Tina that is fantastic.
Let us know when you are out safe and sound hun and please be careful.
*hugs*

[hotmonkee]

Tina that is fantastic.
Let us know when you are out safe and sound hun and please be careful.
*hugs*

you too my darling ;)

[JCs]

I have to wait till the kids are on holiday as i'm not allowed to work but it won't be long now *wink*

[JCs]

Tina PM'd you hun as the above post is no longer viable *hugs*

[hotmonkee]

yes, i got it and you got my reply, and you are in my heart

[hotmonkee]

im moving right now, wont have internet for a while

[JCs]

Good luck sweets. Hopefully that'll be me tomorrow *praying to whoever is above"

Keep us posted whenever you can *hugs*

[JCs]

Couldn't do i today hun so i have to wait until next week when the kids are on holiday :(

My eldest decided he won't leave as he is happy here and has almost finished school.

On the upside he has told me to take the other 2 and go. He fully understands why i need to go and knows he can come to me any time. I'm just glad he is big enough to make his own decicions.

That is gonna be HARD but it's got to be done.

Let me know how things are going for you sweets. Hope you got away safely.

[crimsonangel]

Unfortunately, this happens so frequently and I'm sure that if all of the women were honest and came forward, the true statistics would be staggering. I had a sister who got beat up by her husband. She kept taking him back. It is not only the man's sickness but the women have many issues too that make them stay. Low self esteem etc. I cringe when I see stories about them. Women who have becomed disfigured or even killed by their supposed "loved one". Too many sickos out there!
Marie