The MSP Tribune

[Scilynt]

That's right. We bring you the latest in lame, creepy and flat out dumb pickup attempts through myspace. Post the most bizarre or entertaining messages you have gotten through Myspace.


Be sure to edit out your name and the senders name for privacy reasons.

[Scilynt]

One of the first to make me feel really really uncomfortable. May just be a copy/paste type thing but if he typed all that out to send to 'me'...well...

well honesty beats lies all to hell... so I guess thats it Im not playing games... if you want to play games go talk to Milton Bradley I guess... first off... I know that talking to you is probably like what a looser... I have a thing called anxiety attacks... as Im writing this right now... my heart is all up in my chest about to explode... I don't want to mess it up at all so you think Im some looser... what is a looser... that geek in high school that everyone picked on... sure that was me.... I was quiet why do you think I didn't say anything ever... why do you think people picked on me... cause I can't talk back I just stutter the whole time.... you want to trade shoes... walking at the mall having some beautiful girl look at me and you know do the proper signs for me to come talk to her... I can't.... the only time that I may be able to do this is if Im totally drunk... but then I don't want to embarrass myself...
I just want to be a knight in shining armor for someone as beautiful as you... I just hope that Im not saying something dumb... its like Im 3 again trying to write something to you... my hearts about to blow out of my chest or something... I have my thumb on my sword about to flick it out... Ungaurd at all times... letting the man prevail that tries to attack... they don't stand a chance... I mean my armor does need a little bit of polishing... and I am shining it for you so I hope that you can see through that dullness...


first off... it should be illegal to be as good looking as you...
2nd off... before I go into anything else are you single... cause Im just wondering if I should hit on you or not...
3rd off... man you should show off that body of yours... Roar... I would love to be standing next to you in the line to the movies... or eating some ice cream with you... well if you got a decent head on your shoulders... you know.. An open mind...
4th well maybe you are or maybe you aren't A GOLD DIGGER... but fun does make it for a kick *** relationship...? Money does get nice things... doesn't have to be a car and **** just could be a nice bed... with satin sheets...
5th off... are you looking for a long term tell the end of times type of relationship...
I hope you answered yes too all of the above... if you did let me know... check out my profile and see if I may be the man of your dreams if not then peace...
6th ok now hold your breath... Im looking for a stripper... the reason being is that they make a **** load of money... and if you know you can do this... its eazy stand by a pole and dance do a few lap dances... do this for 1.5 years... and retire... thats enough to start off a business that i have been schooling for for the last 8 years... year around school for 3 years... but you can be retired if you stick around cause i'm not going to be making money for someone who doesn't care about me.. ... .. . and don't message me back saying a stripper is a **** cause it takes a **** to know a ****... so your just calling yourself a ****... why don't you re invent what a stripper is... cause Im going to die trying to make you the wealthiest lady in the world... and its in real estate development so if you know anything about real estate development its not like your going to lose any money...
and lastly...
if I gave you the world in a bow would that be enough...? I know that it would never be enough... you are the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen.... ever.... and i really don't know what to say.... and i don't want to mess this up in any way.... i have had you on my mind ever since i saw your pix... I will give you anything and everything that my life will let me give to you... and I hope you may get this soon... and i want to call you so that we can discuss what is going to happen and... I will do whatever in my power to make you happy for the rest of your life.
and super lastly... I am a direct 2 the point type of person, I do not play games if I want 2 I will talk 2 Milton Bradley
plain and simple...
and the only reason I ask you to be a stripper... I don't know where to get 70k from... and sure I could work but that will take me 4 years to bring in and living expenses and ****... but I will take care of you for the rest of your life if you take care of me...
i am so sorry for wasting your time....

signed
crying ****..

[PGZ]

Is your profile a woman ??? LOL WHAT A FREAK..........

PGZ

[Cyclops]

Don't want to burst your bubble Scilynt but I would guess that he sent that out to every Woman he could find :winkiss:.

[Drew]

Nah I wrote the special for Sci!!!


(j/k)

[Scilynt]

hahah yeah. I get some that are obvious copy/paste but wasn't sure about this one. But regardless, a bit out there. Does this crap really work on women? No wonder women hate men sometimes lol.

Just makes my efforts all that much better with "competition" like that heheh.

[Greg-J]

I haven't seen one like that before. That one takes the cake.

[r18365]

The first pick-up line I receive on MySpace was,
"Wow, you are the kind of woman that makes me want to get down on my knees and thank God I'm a man."

He inferred all of that off of a website? Must be a really deep guy.

[treacle]

lol

I have had "I want to be you lover"

I replied saying:

1) I am spoken for
2) I don't know you
3) You live 5,000 miles away!

makes me laugh...

[Greg-J]

I would reply with "You already ARE my lover you sonofa*****! Wait until I get home tongiht!".

[Scilynt]

I would reply with "You already ARE my lover you sonofa*****! Wait until I get home tongiht!".lmao that would be perfect! I may actually use that if the opportunity arises again heheh.